Oga, dem disgrace your Colleague o: The Gown, the Video and Matters Arising

 ''Hello, sir. Have you seen the video clip?''

''What video clip? Of Bello paying the backlog of salaries owed the Kogi State workers?''

''No, sir!''

''Of the Anambra man helplessly watching some herdsmen uproot his cassava and feeding them to their cows?''

''Oga, no!!''

'' OK, my final guess: it must be the much awaited video of Oga Bubu openly lampooning and instructing security agents to deal decisively with erring herdsmen?''

''Sir, you are wrong. It is the video of one of your colleagues caught in action with a sweet sixteen''

''Caught in action? I am not a movie producer nor an actor. Are you sure you called the right number?''

''(Smiles) I am sure sir. He is a teacher too; teaching adults distributed in diverse knowledge areas. He is a 'gown' man like you, sir. He was caught in action trying to 'pene', you know; do 'papopapo' with the lady''

''Now, am getting your drift but more confused. Which one is 'pene' or 'papopapo'? Using cane to beat her? That is corporal punishment. Well,..''

''(Cuts in)..Oga, man yen fe kobasun fun lady yen ni, sir. O fe lamba e!''

''Now ogbeni, why can't you simply say he wanted to have sex with her?''

''Sir, sex bawo? Sex does not capture the man's intention o. This man don take 'Dadubule' Bitters with Ogidiga for the action o. Oga, dat one na sex? No be mere sex, na match''

''Ok. Thanks for that explanation; but what really happened? Did he raped her? Didn't they agreed before he took those bitters in preparation for the match?''

''The girl claimed that the man has been harassing her for sex since her second year. She even alleged that he failed her in one of the courses and gave her 53 in the other''

''OK. Didn’t she report the matter?''

''Report kwa? Sir, sebi you know your people sabi 'espirit de corps' among una sef. Covering each other’s devilish back and offering hot consolation to the victims to 'be a good girl' as if she has been a bad one before.''

''Did you call to abuse me? Or what is it with the use of 'una'?'' 

''I am sorry, sir. But you know that is the truth. Only God will judge many of you for condoning your colleagues with loosed zipper. Anyway, the lady reported but instead of addressing the issue they swept it under the carpet, with big broom. She offered the course again in 300L and got 36 with a missing CA. She complained again. But this time they asked him to produce the CA, which he did''.

''As you can see, we do take action when there are evidences. But when you are on campus to study, and you neither attend classes nor submit assignments and write tests, how do we help you? You exposed yourself and make yourself easy prey to 'swinging waist' molesters. Una sef no dey try!''

''(Laughs) Sir, you have a good point there. So, back to the story, sir. He grudgingly collected her evidences to proof her CA and graded 21 of 40. Another C. But he warned her that it is better to give him the toitoi to chop than continue running to his colleagues. She thought he was joking until first semester of 400L when he called her and informed her that she has failed his course. Can you imagine, sir?''

''Go on, am here. Thanks for practicing your communication skills on me by asking for a feedback (Laughs). But I think that should make his colleagues confirm his pedophilic tendencies!''

''Confirm kwa! In fact, she fought tooth and nail to get him removed as her Long Essay (Project) supervisor! Those colleagues of your appointed him as the supervisor of the girl he has been witch-hunting for 'ibasun' (sex). They even counseled her to accept him as supervisor: to accept her fate''

''Hmm..that is quite surprising but possible where the man in question has loads of secrets of the Head of the unit. But it is wrong though. Ok, go on''

''When she entered his office. He offered her a seat and taunted her with 'I think you are coming back next year for extra semester' speech. Hearing that, she broke into tears and started begging. He consoled her and asked her: 'are you a virgin? I know you are not because Dehinde and Watson have ‘chopped you’. So why can't I? What is so special about you that you cant offer me this thing and pass without wahala?..''

''(I cut in) I am sure he will say that. It is the popular line forgetting that she willingly allowed those ones to do whatever with her, she owns her body. She has the right to offer it to whomever she pleases or keep it for whatever reasons. Anyway, even if she offered that excuse, the unrepentant 'rapist' will not''

''Sir, but he is not a rapist''

''So who is he? A 'takist'? Having sex with someone who does not give consent but bullied one into it is RAPE. Ogbeni, the man is a rapist; if husbands who just grab their wives and started 'pene' them (to use your words) can be categorised as rapist, how much more this 'loose waist' person?''

''Hmm..Ok sir. Back to the story. He asked her to go and think about it and pick a date for the 'gbamgbamjigijigi''

''What is that again!! You this boy go finish me today o. Is that not sex, again??''

''(Laughs) Yes sir. Na sex. But you know the girl has a boyfriend, whose uncle is a Captain in the army. The Captain advised her to record their conversation when next he requested for sex from her. This time, she did''

''Can you see why he never renege on his 'papopapo' mission? Ori to ba maa je iko, a je iko yen dandan. His day of reckoning is near. Now this is getting interesting''

''She called him, (ensured she recorded it as advised), and picked Thursday and her apartment as the hosting stadium for the match. Before the D-day, two cameras were fixed in the house. On the agreed day, your colleague ..''

''(Cuts in)..another jab! Correct! No wahala, go on''

''(Laughs) Oga, your colleague arrived fully prepared for action, the match. From the video, the girl welcomed him grudgingly but later allowed him to start touching 'every every'. I mean her body. This made him relaxed. Then he started promising all you can imagine''

''That is the confession point. The point where men can and have signed off their lives and properties to women; the point when they become a 'yes man' to the giver of antidote of erection''

''Have you watched the video, sir? Because that was exactly what happened. He made so many promises that one wonders if he is the Veecee. Then he removed his clothes and laid on the bed waiting for the lady, who was tying a short wrapper, to bring her Zanga for him to enter. 

''Zanga?? You mean for him to penetrate her? Is that Zanga??''

'' Yes, sir. But instead of joining him on the bed, she packed his clothes, rushed outside and locked the gate. Then shouted and raised alarm for the soldiers and neighbours to come and see. Ha, Oga, dem disgrace your Colleague o; in fact, the disgrace dey inhuman. ''.

''What a pathetic story. But let me ask you, as an aspiring lecturer, how can we protect the female students from these predators?''

''To start with, that your colleague and others like him, must be prosecuted and sentenced to serve as deterrent to others. Second, lecturers must desist from 'esprit de corps' attitude of covering their colleagues involved in such acts for the sake of the profession and those of us joining the profession soon. Third, female students must strive to be diligent and be focused on their studies so that they will not fall victim as a result of their favour-seeking penchant. Higher Institution authorities must also develop and ensure that ALL lecturers sign the 'Sexual Exploitation Protection Protocol'

''Wow! Thanks. Can you please also add also that the female students should not 'gbesunmo lecturers' and must endeavor to support in exposing teachers involved in such unprofessional conduct by speaking out and supporting their victimized colleague(s).

''That is also important sir. Thank you, sir. But, ha, Oga, dem disgrace your Colleague o ''

''Ogbeni, that is ok o! Thanks for the call. Ire o!''

Adeyemi J Ademowo, a sociocultural analyst and development anthropologist, AHP postdoctoral Fellow-in-residence at IIAS Ghana, works with Afe Babalola University, Ado-Ekiti

Pix: University of Kent

The Tomfoolery of Sharing without a Thinking cap

The social media as a public space offers free posting licence to everyone that could create an account, and knows how to press or click the share button, anytime. Hence, people are always very happy to either be the first to break the news or ensure they partake in sharing bazaars, or sharing the sharable competition. I have been part of this crowd too, in truth.

However, I guess it is time for scholars to hold firmly to their 'brake' and exercise some restraints in sharing some of these 'flying news', pictures and videos.

Three examples suffices for me.
1. The ''Boko Haram is in Ikere'' videos. The voice of that 'alarmist' woman who did the voice over still rings in my 'cranial heaven'. ''Won ti de o, eyin omo Yoruba e ma sun o'' (They are here o, Yoruba sons and daughters be vigilant o). What a punchline! Unlike many 'time to break the news' citizens I decided to watch video. After watching for 0.33secs images started showing that made me doubted the reality. The attached video was showing shrubs, and dessert. So I asked myself, ''how can you be fooled by this, 'Deyemi'? I tried my best debunking the video on over 8 platforms before forwarding it to people that might track such alarmist for caution. (Did someone just soliloquy 'This guy get time o!' now? Na you sabi).

2. The picture of a purported accident on a Nigerian highway where many passengers were killed. Message: ''Breaking News, Robbers asked passengers in a bus to sleep on the road and used the bus to crush their heads for not having money..photo below''. The photo was gory. Despite the goriness some still shared it on their FB walls. The truth about the photo is that it was 'photoshopped'.

3. The third is the video about a 'barking yahoo boy'. When I saw the video, I was interested because I am working on something related. So I called someone in Ogbomoso, one of my informants. The reply was that it is a scene from a movie. (I will attach the two videos for you to view).

How do we fact-check so that as scholars we won't continue to be a fool.

1. You can use two of my Ogas' method. They will send or forward a message to me or other trusted friends to ask for our personal views on what they received. Just to share or get our views. You can adopt the same approach. ''Ore, have you seen this? What do you think?''. That sometimes do the magic of guiding whatever level the modicum of our integrity is in peoples' analysis. Sharing and getting views of close persons or persons more IT knowledgeable won't kill you.

2. Use Google reverse check. Check the image and the video online. It will show where it has been used before and if alterations are made you can see.

3. 'Read and pass' option is simply to read and sigh ''Hmm..this Naija sef'' and continue with your 'Naija gbege or wahala or hustle'' without sharing with anyone. The safety here is that you won't share of anyone's blame when the foolery in such becomes naked.

The social media is a space for all, of opportunities, information and a place for privatized madness. Don't partake of the madness; as dem dey say for 'motor park space', ''Oga, see caution''.

Ire o!

Adeyemi J Ademowo, a sociocultural analyst and development anthropologist, AHP postdoctoral Fellow-in-residence at IIAS Ghana, works with Afe Babalola University, Ado-Ekiti

More info about Google Reverse checking link here: https://youtu.be/mlrU-SnV2n0

Pentecostalism and the farcical Penterascals

 “Praise the Lord!!”

“Amen!!”

“If you want a miracle like the speed of light in your life this month, come out with a bountiful and miracle-magnetizing offering of one hundred thousand for the Lord! Amen!! Let me share this with you. Last week, I was in California [having left Edmonton a week before], a youngman was so desperate to see me, that he nearly walked on others. I asked him why such a rush, he said he travelled all the way from Edmonton to offer his ‘seed of faith’ so that he can be blessed like his friend who sow his seed while I made this similar call in Edmonton. I laughed and prayed for him. Yesterday he called to inform me that he won a contract of $10,5000,000; I told him that is just the beginning, hundreds of millions will come. If you share the same faith and want to prosper beyond your imagination come out with your 100,000 seed offering else you will come to Australia to give me in a rush! Come out now!!”

(Shouts of ‘’Praise the Lord” rent the air as people started trooping out to offer money for their expected miracles)

The scene above is neither from a Nollywood nor a Ghollywood movie script, it happened sometimes last year in a West African country; in a massive ‘Church of God’ led by a man and his wife. This particular church prides itself as an exemplary Pentecostal ministry. Most, if not all, present-day Pentecostal churches are historically linked with the Azusa Street Revival of 1906 held in Los Angeles, California, led by William J. Seymour, an African American preacher. However, Pentecostalism is believed to have started far before then with the baptism of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues as written in the biblical Book of Act. 

Some of the key features of the Pentecostal movement/church include: preaching of salvation, experience of baptism of the Holy Spirit; healing through Jesus Christ (miracles/divine healing), speaking in tongues, prophecy, literal interpretation of the bible; women in leadership role (or as ‘Mama’ to a central figure ‘Papa’) and receptacle to popular culture. These features are so defining and stand the movement out of the Christianity pack, thereby othering the other outlandishly. The ‘other’ here refers to the orthodox or traditional group which are considered unwelcoming or uninteresting (in contemporary period) as many of them refused to change to the dictate of contemporary popular culture. By implication, most youths, rich and ‘suave’, find it rather awkward to get affiliated with the ‘boring’ orthodox churches. But are the above stated ideals of Pentecostalism affected or threatened by the tilt towards the ‘modern’ and the widely acceptable reformed practices? The obvious answer is ‘Yes’!

To many, ‘salvation’ which ought to take the front seat has now been pushed to the back seat. Prosperity preaching is now the order of the day. We now have more motivational speakers than Pastors on the pulpit. While nothing is wrong with being a motivational speaker and a shepherd for the Lord, pushing salvation preaching to the backseat and shifting the peoples’ attention to success and wealth at the detriment of the salvation and holiness scriptures (such as Matthew 6 vs 33: Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God) is considered inimical to the gospel of Christ. 

Pastor 'delivering' members of his church. Source: Nairaland

Questions have also been asked concerning the commercialization of healing and miracles which Jesus promised as an addendum to accepting him as ‘the personal Lord and Saviour’. Like the opening scenario, some Pastors now ask for ‘seed donations’ and diverse nomenclatural offerings to fund their own greed, in the name of the Lord. Members are fleeced continually to fund the expensive lifestyles of the men and women of God, and where the members are not cooperating, these ‘God’s anointed’ take what belong to the people willy-nilly through the powers of ‘motivational speaking’ and/or ‘other diabolical’ means possible. Miracles have now become ‘three for one’, ‘cash and carry’ and an all comers’ affairs. Handkerchiefs are sold for princely sum; ditto oil and ‘holy water’ packaged in bottles. 

The mad rush for members or sheep is another downturn in the Nigerian-Ghana Pentecostal movement, this has led to unhealthy rivalry between and among ‘anointed’ men of God to the extent that they now move about in bulletproof vests and cars, retinue of security guards, displaying opulence to attract, pay unnecessary homages and get affiliated to political jobbers and persons with unexplainable wealth. To ensure that they have a large congregation, some go as far as recruiting ‘Membership Merchandizers’ who get paid per members they could bring to the church. Special announcements and advertisement of products ‘to support members businesses’ are also promoted and allowed (at discounted fees) for the sake of getting ‘running cost’ for the church. Men of God are also involved as key promoters of ‘pyramid/Ponzi schemes’ (as was the case with Penny Wise Credit) using or, if you like, milking their unwitting members of their hard-earned funds. Most recently, some of these Pastors are involved in the new gambling business, as betting company shareholders. In Accra, for instance, people troop to a certain popular Pentecostal church because the pastor dictates winning lotto numbers to them to stake money on. In Lagos, a pastor announces/prophesizes the team that will win the weekly English League matches, and sometimes the final scores; all in the name of membership and money!

Cases of sexual assaults and comical deliverance methods such as using one’s male genital to remove demons through a lady’s private part, using kissing to remove poison, asking female members to remove their pants in church to ward-off demons, eating of grasses, fondling and sucking of spinsters and ‘barren’ women breasts to heal them, among others, are now the order of the day. While some have been lucky to commit all these atrocities in the name of Jesus and get away with them, some have been unlucky and standing trial or imprisoned; more worrisome is that new rascals are joining the fold daily (even as you are reading this piece) after all the only qualification one needs to start a Pentecostal church is to declare that God has called him or her..  

Pastor standing on members' back to demonstrate a point. Source: http://cameroon-concord.com

Why should I be bothered about the activities of these rascals, or penterascals? Two reasons: morality and criminality. The morality of the practice, of deceit and exploitation is worrisome. Many have been deceived and maneuvered, mentally, to believe in their criminal ways, duped and left with little or no choice but suicide. They are hero worshipped by diverse followers who have turned into a sect (of a sort), learning the antics of the immoral practice and perpetually become unwitting slaves to their penterascal ideals. Premised on these, it would be wrong not to look critically into some of their practices and prosecute those found to be acting against the law. We know they are close to power that be and are somewhat very rich, hence many think they are untouchable, but the citizens must speak out. Speaking out is the ‘magic wand’ and also the first step towards helping to remove the veil placed on others’ mental and/or physical eyes, and in protecting the laws of the land; and, if I may add, in helping Christianity rid itself of these men and women with farcical messages and practices inimical to its image as a religion.  

Adeyemi J Ademowo, a sociocultural analyst and development anthropologist, AHP postdoctoral Fellow-in-residence at IIAS Ghana, works with Afe Babalola University, Ado-Ekiti