Oga, dem disgrace your Colleague o: The Gown, the Video and Matters Arising

 ''Hello, sir. Have you seen the video clip?''

''What video clip? Of Bello paying the backlog of salaries owed the Kogi State workers?''

''No, sir!''

''Of the Anambra man helplessly watching some herdsmen uproot his cassava and feeding them to their cows?''

''Oga, no!!''

'' OK, my final guess: it must be the much awaited video of Oga Bubu openly lampooning and instructing security agents to deal decisively with erring herdsmen?''

''Sir, you are wrong. It is the video of one of your colleagues caught in action with a sweet sixteen''

''Caught in action? I am not a movie producer nor an actor. Are you sure you called the right number?''

''(Smiles) I am sure sir. He is a teacher too; teaching adults distributed in diverse knowledge areas. He is a 'gown' man like you, sir. He was caught in action trying to 'pene', you know; do 'papopapo' with the lady''

''Now, am getting your drift but more confused. Which one is 'pene' or 'papopapo'? Using cane to beat her? That is corporal punishment. Well,..''

''(Cuts in)..Oga, man yen fe kobasun fun lady yen ni, sir. O fe lamba e!''

''Now ogbeni, why can't you simply say he wanted to have sex with her?''

''Sir, sex bawo? Sex does not capture the man's intention o. This man don take 'Dadubule' Bitters with Ogidiga for the action o. Oga, dat one na sex? No be mere sex, na match''

''Ok. Thanks for that explanation; but what really happened? Did he raped her? Didn't they agreed before he took those bitters in preparation for the match?''

''The girl claimed that the man has been harassing her for sex since her second year. She even alleged that he failed her in one of the courses and gave her 53 in the other''

''OK. Didn’t she report the matter?''

''Report kwa? Sir, sebi you know your people sabi 'espirit de corps' among una sef. Covering each other’s devilish back and offering hot consolation to the victims to 'be a good girl' as if she has been a bad one before.''

''Did you call to abuse me? Or what is it with the use of 'una'?'' 

''I am sorry, sir. But you know that is the truth. Only God will judge many of you for condoning your colleagues with loosed zipper. Anyway, the lady reported but instead of addressing the issue they swept it under the carpet, with big broom. She offered the course again in 300L and got 36 with a missing CA. She complained again. But this time they asked him to produce the CA, which he did''.

''As you can see, we do take action when there are evidences. But when you are on campus to study, and you neither attend classes nor submit assignments and write tests, how do we help you? You exposed yourself and make yourself easy prey to 'swinging waist' molesters. Una sef no dey try!''

''(Laughs) Sir, you have a good point there. So, back to the story, sir. He grudgingly collected her evidences to proof her CA and graded 21 of 40. Another C. But he warned her that it is better to give him the toitoi to chop than continue running to his colleagues. She thought he was joking until first semester of 400L when he called her and informed her that she has failed his course. Can you imagine, sir?''

''Go on, am here. Thanks for practicing your communication skills on me by asking for a feedback (Laughs). But I think that should make his colleagues confirm his pedophilic tendencies!''

''Confirm kwa! In fact, she fought tooth and nail to get him removed as her Long Essay (Project) supervisor! Those colleagues of your appointed him as the supervisor of the girl he has been witch-hunting for 'ibasun' (sex). They even counseled her to accept him as supervisor: to accept her fate''

''Hmm..that is quite surprising but possible where the man in question has loads of secrets of the Head of the unit. But it is wrong though. Ok, go on''

''When she entered his office. He offered her a seat and taunted her with 'I think you are coming back next year for extra semester' speech. Hearing that, she broke into tears and started begging. He consoled her and asked her: 'are you a virgin? I know you are not because Dehinde and Watson have ‘chopped you’. So why can't I? What is so special about you that you cant offer me this thing and pass without wahala?..''

''(I cut in) I am sure he will say that. It is the popular line forgetting that she willingly allowed those ones to do whatever with her, she owns her body. She has the right to offer it to whomever she pleases or keep it for whatever reasons. Anyway, even if she offered that excuse, the unrepentant 'rapist' will not''

''Sir, but he is not a rapist''

''So who is he? A 'takist'? Having sex with someone who does not give consent but bullied one into it is RAPE. Ogbeni, the man is a rapist; if husbands who just grab their wives and started 'pene' them (to use your words) can be categorised as rapist, how much more this 'loose waist' person?''

''Hmm..Ok sir. Back to the story. He asked her to go and think about it and pick a date for the 'gbamgbamjigijigi''

''What is that again!! You this boy go finish me today o. Is that not sex, again??''

''(Laughs) Yes sir. Na sex. But you know the girl has a boyfriend, whose uncle is a Captain in the army. The Captain advised her to record their conversation when next he requested for sex from her. This time, she did''

''Can you see why he never renege on his 'papopapo' mission? Ori to ba maa je iko, a je iko yen dandan. His day of reckoning is near. Now this is getting interesting''

''She called him, (ensured she recorded it as advised), and picked Thursday and her apartment as the hosting stadium for the match. Before the D-day, two cameras were fixed in the house. On the agreed day, your colleague ..''

''(Cuts in)..another jab! Correct! No wahala, go on''

''(Laughs) Oga, your colleague arrived fully prepared for action, the match. From the video, the girl welcomed him grudgingly but later allowed him to start touching 'every every'. I mean her body. This made him relaxed. Then he started promising all you can imagine''

''That is the confession point. The point where men can and have signed off their lives and properties to women; the point when they become a 'yes man' to the giver of antidote of erection''

''Have you watched the video, sir? Because that was exactly what happened. He made so many promises that one wonders if he is the Veecee. Then he removed his clothes and laid on the bed waiting for the lady, who was tying a short wrapper, to bring her Zanga for him to enter. 

''Zanga?? You mean for him to penetrate her? Is that Zanga??''

'' Yes, sir. But instead of joining him on the bed, she packed his clothes, rushed outside and locked the gate. Then shouted and raised alarm for the soldiers and neighbours to come and see. Ha, Oga, dem disgrace your Colleague o; in fact, the disgrace dey inhuman. ''.

''What a pathetic story. But let me ask you, as an aspiring lecturer, how can we protect the female students from these predators?''

''To start with, that your colleague and others like him, must be prosecuted and sentenced to serve as deterrent to others. Second, lecturers must desist from 'esprit de corps' attitude of covering their colleagues involved in such acts for the sake of the profession and those of us joining the profession soon. Third, female students must strive to be diligent and be focused on their studies so that they will not fall victim as a result of their favour-seeking penchant. Higher Institution authorities must also develop and ensure that ALL lecturers sign the 'Sexual Exploitation Protection Protocol'

''Wow! Thanks. Can you please also add also that the female students should not 'gbesunmo lecturers' and must endeavor to support in exposing teachers involved in such unprofessional conduct by speaking out and supporting their victimized colleague(s).

''That is also important sir. Thank you, sir. But, ha, Oga, dem disgrace your Colleague o ''

''Ogbeni, that is ok o! Thanks for the call. Ire o!''

Adeyemi J Ademowo, a sociocultural analyst and development anthropologist, AHP postdoctoral Fellow-in-residence at IIAS Ghana, works with Afe Babalola University, Ado-Ekiti

Pix: University of Kent